rita-haxx:

hikki-ko-mori:

so i was taking a bath

a bubble bath to be specific

i used half a bar of lush’s comforter (however you fucking spell it) and this happened

image

crazy right? i think my mom’s tub is made of magic powers or something

so i had a nice bath, watched some cry plays on my ipad

and i drained my tub

i came down to my room, two floors down in the basement

and i am greeted with this

image

i cAN”T FUCKInG BREATHE

WAT

(Source: kikuchimoa)

stereofeathers:

stereofeathers:

stereofeathers:

FUCK I FORGOT THAT THE BIRD STORE I WORK AT HAS ONE BABY BIRD THAT LIKES TO SLEEP IN PEOPLES POCKETS IM HOME AND SOMETHING IS MOVING IN MY POCKET OH FUCK

YEAH ITS THE BIRD I JUST ACCIDENTALLY STOLE A BIRD

 MY BOSS JUST GAVE ME THE MOST STERN LOOK OF DISAPPROVAL BEFORE HE STARTED LAUGHING SO HARD HE HAD TO GRAB THE EDGE OF A TABLE

sixpathsofbased:

Only real 90s kids remember waking up in the middle of the night seeing girls gone wild commercials on your tv

somefagonyourdash:

humorking:

SO IM AT THE BUS STATION AND THIS GIRL TAPS MY SHOULDER AND SHES LIKE “are you the guy from tumblr?” AND IM LIKE “i guess” AND SHES LIKE “i follow your blog and my boyfriend *points at him* saw your selfie page and he said he would fuck you” I LAUGHED SO HARD AND SAID “thanks man means a lot” AND HE JUST SAID “no homo cutie” THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER I LOVE YOU GUYS

cute-bird-dad:

kids are out here like “i wish i was alive during beatlemania” and im like….. beyonce is right here, right now, what is wrong with you. get right with jesus

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